Epiosde 13: Trust and Dependability

So I've been reading and hearing a lot about people losing trust and dependability in others. That's quite understandable. I've even had my own experiences with investing and losing trust, as well as changing my dependability on certain family members.

What grindz mi gearz is the fact that people allow the human error to jade their outlook on life and social relations. Now I'm only making an observation rather than assuming so I'm only basing what I know on what I've heard and seen.


Trust, like the mind and heart, is very fragile. It's hard to build and VERY easy to destroy. But what I've learned and developed for myself is there are always going to be people I meet and build some sort of relationship with. What comes after is something I need to remind myself of all the time: life is so random and unpredictable that people will leave under varying circumstances. It can be that someone is moving; there was a fight and it's irreparable; someone dies; or there are different objectives in life where communication is lost. I’ve lost friends, loved ones and potential associates where it burned me on the inside. I always did equate losing someone I was used to as a recovery from an addiction. As far as losing trust in others I've had experiences with best friends and loved ones where I’ve said to myself that I'd never trust the next person or anyone at all. But each time I found myself doing it again and, at times, with more speed and depth. So what was I to do to keep from being hurt and stay social?


By varying the way I trust a person. How? I would carefully get to know the next person and figure out, based on actions and listening to what they're saying and the topics they bring up, how much I should trust a person. Thus I can basically trust everyone to be themselves. I can trust a person to be evil--they will do whatever it takes to take care of their own and stomp on people to get wherever they need to be. I can trust a person to be a liar--they can cry wolf all they want and I won't pay them any mind unless they go out their way to prove they weren't lying. I can trust a person to be good--they've shown through their actions that they have morals and decent-to-high standards in life. Then there is a small selection of individuals I can completely trust my life with and, in their own way, never fail me.


Dependability can be similar, yet different, to trust. I feel you don't need trust to depend on someone--i.e. work or school. You depend on yourself and teachers to get your grades and pass school. You depend on yourself and your boss to make sure you get paid and keep the business running. You can choose not to trust someone but you always have to depend on someone. (Say what?)


There are different ways of depending on someone. For the undependable people, you can always depend on them for nothing or being unpredictable. I’ve come across people, friends and family, where they've failed me in different events. I've lost positive dependability with my older sister after a bad fallout with her. Instead of depending on her aid for whatever I may need, I now depend on her to be in the shadows and worry about herself. With positive dependability, I observe how much I can depend on someone. For some of my friends I can depend on them to be there to the best of their abilities and availabilities. For others they have proved beyond time and again that I can increase that dependability during times of need--again they fall into the select few that I also trust with my life.


In my opinion, being careful with how you trust and depend on someone makes a HUGE difference. Every person and situation is different but the fundamentals are definitely the same. So tread carefully and you will be alright. I know I will! ^_^